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How to Survive a Flood by: Kaitlin The levee holding back the nearby lake breaks and your whole town floods. The water is well over 7 feet, and you are stuck in your house. The water is slowly seeping into your house, and you don’t know how to stop it. Soon your whole house could be flooded, and you’re still inside. What do you do?

Step 1 : Find something that floats. Find something that is filled with air. Make sure the air can’t escape from the object. If you can’t find any items of this kind, take a sheet or piece of fabric (not too thin, but not very thick either) that you can float with.

Step 2 : Find a window/door that is the closest to the top of the water, or better, above the surface of the water. If you have an upper level, go out one of those windows. Lift the window up, tear the screen if you have to, and jump into the water with your floatable item.

Step 3 : If you chose a sheet to float with, after jumping, take the sheet and put it in the water so that it forms an air bubble under the sheet. Tie the other end loosely.

Step 4 : Float until you find a surface above the water that you can climb on to. Like the roof of a house, or other building.

Step 5 : Climb onto the top of the house. First, grab the top of the building with your hands. Try to hoist yourself up by lifting one leg to the surface of the building. Pull yourself up and follow the next step.

Step 6 : Call for help! Call out and wave your hands in the air until someone sees you and comes to save you.

** How to Survive Being Scared of Monsters ** By Jordan Y.B. Face it, you're scared of the dark. Everyone is. We all know that the Boogie Man isn't just going to jump out from under your mattress. But, then again, we all have fears. Here's what you can do to conquer your fears and clobber Sully's brains (or lack thereof) the moment that blue thing jumps out of your closet.

That creaking noise is probably just something settling, or a pet. Yep, even Hopster the rabbit can sound like a monster in the middle of the night. Movement or changing shadows could be from outside. Chances are it's just a car going by.
 * 1. Remind yourself that there's nothing there. **

If you want to be sure, go check things out. Open up that door, lift up the mattress, and go find that thing, wherever it is.
 * 2. Go and look. **

Usually this helps. Sometimes just the idea of getting up and doing something helps one deal with the problem. If you're scared of ghosts or something in the shower, turn on the light and scare 'em away or turn on the fan and suck 'em up.
 * 3. Get a drink or go to the bathroom. **

Sometimes, the silence is what is so erie. Hum or whistle a quick tune to yourself and take your mind off of things. If you have a CD player or radio in your room, turn it on, hit sleep, and snuggle up!
 * 4. Hum to yourself. **

Hit dreamland, then go to the monster's house. Make friends with it! Have fun and throw a party! Make sure you invite all of the other monsters in the area. Go everywhere and do everything with your new monster friend.
 * 5. Embrace the monster. **

** EMERGENCY ONLY! ** ** USE ONLY AS A LAST RESORT!!!!!! ** Go to the monster's house with some sort of heavy duty military grade weopon and blast them to the land of forgotten dreams. Or, if you prefer, use plastic explosives. Your choice.
 * 6. Kill the monster. **

How to Survive a Middle School Lunch Line By Kyle Most schools provide their students with a lunch. Most schools have students line up for lunch in an orderly fashion. However, there are many schools (Brown Deer Middle School, for example) that simply let everyone rush up to the lunch line in a crowded, cramped, and rectangular area. If one of these schools is yours, you know that once you get into that line, it’s a fight to the death. If you want to survive lunch at your school, and maybe even be one of the first to eat, then listen to these simple steps:

1. Speed-walk.

Do not run to the line, even if others are, for they will likely be sent to the back of the line. Simply walk (always have at least one foot on the ground) as fast as you can.

2. Stay low.

When people are trying not to be skipped, just crouch down and push through their stomachs/backs, and do your best not to get kicked. When you are low, it will be harder to be detected by your peers, making it easier to bypass them.

3. Kill or be killed.

Or, rather, skip or be skipped. It’s a dangerous free-for-all out there and you need to do what has to be done, without hesitation. No one else will hesitate to push you out of the way to get their food. The only way past this is skipping people before they skip you.

4. They shall not pass!

This step only applies to you if your school makes you wait in line to get your food. If they just let you breeze through, you can ignore this step. If your school does hold you back, then you need to make sure no one skips //you.// Make sure no one is trying to get through by being low, and you ay want to spread your arms out sideways similar to how an eagle spreads its wings to fly. This will help you cover a larger space as to make it harder for others to get through. After you do this, you may just have to hang in there until you’re allowed to get your lunch.

5. Grab your food, and get out.

Once you get into the “food retrieval area,” do not talk to anyone. You can do any necessary talking or interacting once you sit down. While in this area, grab your food, beverage, any other snacks, and immediately check out. You must do all of this quickly, as to avoid the oncoming horde of kids. Once you’ve checked out and sat down, then congratulations, you have survived //yet another// school lunch line! Follow these steps every day, and you will have a great school year!

How to not be late to class By Darren Okay. You miss your alarm and its 20 minutes until school starts. This wouldn’t be a problem if you had a ride, but you have to walk. **//SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO??????????????//**


 * 1) **You’re going to brush your teeth (1min. max)** // you probably have morning dew breath so clean your teeth //** (make sure to get every tooth) **
 * 2) **After your done put clothes on (don’t worry if they match because your already almost late)** //you should know this one because if you didn’t you will be running to school naked//
 * 3) **After your done getting dressed eat a nice, quick and healthy breakfast. (On the go)** //breakfast is always important// **EVEN IF YOU’RE LATE** //and it gives you the energy for step 5.//
 * 4) **Grab book bag, coat and anything else you need.** //You don’t want to do all of these steps then forget this one because your homework is probably in your book bag or its cold outside and you need your coat//


 * //All these steps should be done in 10min//**


 * 1) **Run your head off until you get to school.**//If you did step 3 you should have the energy to run so you will at least have a few minutes to get to locker.//
 * 2) **Get to locker and go.**//You don’t want to be talking that’s wasting valuable minutes so hurry up **(probably should have a clean locker).**//

How to fall down a flight of stairs By Annura Yea, I know this sounds kind of weird but at times it happens when you maybe trip over a small object or your shoe going down the stairs. Well now I’m here to help you prevent yourself from getting seriously injured or even (in some cases) death.

The first thing you should do is when you sense your going to fall crouch low and put your hands around your head. You would do this to protect your skull or even brain. You don’t want to prevent yourself from falling because either way you’re going to hurt yourself.
 * __ Step 1 __**

Second step is to tuck your arms, legs, and knees close to your body along with your chin. You would do this in order to keep all your organs and bones from getting broken or bruised.
 * __ Step 2 __**

The third thing you should do is to try and move towards the closest wall around you (if there is one). You would do this so if you have a banister or anything around you that you would be able to grip onto and make you stop.
 * __ Step 3 __**

The fourth step is when you come to a complete stop at the end of the stairs, you must look for any injuries. Try to move all your muscles and bones around very slowly to make sure anything isn’t sprung or broken. If you feel any extreme pain, call for help and stay still until help arrives. You would do this so you injured area wouldn’t get even worse.
 * __ Step 4 __**

How to Survive Shampoo in Your Eye (in the shower) By: Rayna 1.) DO NOT PANIC. Panicking will only make the situation worse.  2.) Rinse your hand off. Rinse your hand off so that no more shampoo gets into your eye. 3.) Open your eyelid. Open it as WIDE as you can.  4.) Curve your hand and put your hand under the water. Fill your hand up with water. 5.) Splash water into your eye. Continue to splash water into your eye until all the shampoo is out of your eye.


 * __ How to Survive a Unicorn Attack __**
 * By: Amanda **

Step 1- Don’t Move: Just stand there on your feet. If you move at all it will have a giant Twinkie come eat you alive. (Not as fun as it sounds :/ ) -When the unicorn starts staring at you, just stare at him back. You know your doing good when his eyes start turning brown Step 2 -Keep staring at him but make sure your not moving AT ALL, just keep staring at him he will start turning into fudge he will start melting. -When he is finished melting you may move, he’s dead now but if you haven’t noticed. The horn didn’t turn into fudge; it turned into a Twinkie. Congratulations, you killed a PRECIOUS CREATURE OF NATURE I HOPE YOUR PROUD. Step 3 - now that you have food, take all the fudge you can put in your hands & run home, DON’T DROP ANY FUDGE THOUGH;,. Step 4 -Take a cake pan out now, &put the fudge into the cake pan. Step 5, Wash off the fudge off your hands. Step 6 -Next preheat your oven to 350°F, when your oven beeps put the pan into the oven with oven mittens. Step 7 -Take a shower RIGHT AFTER, if you wait to long you can turn into a unic0rn, by looking in his eyes to long. it’s not fun believe me. Penguins try eating you. TAKE A 30 MINUTE SHOWER. Step 8 -When you get out of the shower take the fudge out of the oven, Step 9- Then send it to Amanda Riley Walker by car. Get in the car & drive to 9256 N. 51st Street. - IF YOU DON’T GIVE IT TO ME YOU WILL DIE. BECAUSE OF THE CURSE OF THE UNICORN.

How to Survive Keeping Your Room Clean By Torie

You are really busy doing homework and going to volleyball practice, so you don’t have time to clean your room. Everyday you come home, you never clean your room because you have to do your homework, eat dinner, and still take a shower. Your thinking there’s no way I can clean my room…… EVER!

Take time in the morning
 * Make sure you make your bed, pull up your sheets, and fluff your pillow
 * Throw your clothes down the laundry, take all your dirty clothes and take them to your washing machine

After school
 * When you get home after school you can take a shower really quick before you do your homework then your hair will be able to air dry
 * Then before you eat dinner you can do more homework
 * After your done eating you have a whole lot of time after dinner because you already took a shower, ate dinner, and finished all your homework
 * Now you can clean your room

How to make more money by Sonia

So you need more money and you ask your parents for some they tell you no and then they say you have to work for it. So you need some ideas of things to do to make more money.


 * 1) You should always make a budget and stick with it you could write a goal of how much money you want to make then you should always stick with it or later if you think you are going to need more money you should probably make a higher budget.

2. You should try cutting the grass or shoveling the snow, do the dishes, clean your room, and try going to other people’s houses and babysit or see if they need any help with any thing.

3. An important way to also make money from babysitting makes a reasonable price. Price first you should do is see how many kids there are if there are like lets say three kids your price should be around 3dollers for each kid. If it’s an only child you should do at least 6 dollars then you look at how many hours the parents are going to be gone. How to survive a Justin Beiber concert. By: Raeden Plan 1

Well you all probably know who Justin Beiber is (unless you’re over the age of 45), personally I hate his music. But anyways, it’s vey simple; first try to mangle the chances of even going. STEP 1: tell your (G.F, Sister, or Mom under age of 45) you don’t want t go, STEP 2: Play sick (very sick) or even dead if you have to. STEP 3: Last for this plan. Actually die. (if you don’t want to then go to plan 2)

Plan 2 So if you’re here, you must’ve failed plan 1… STEP 1: Buy sound-proof ear plugs. STEP 2: Buy a blind fold or a book or something. STEP 3: Do what you bought the book for and read, the ear plugs should help. (If your G.F, Sister, or Mom under age of 45, doesn’t let you, go to Plan 3) Plan 3 This plan is for the sake of being alive. STEP 1: Climb to the top of the Bleachers. STEP 2: Take off your shirt and pants. STEP 3: Scream louder then the music. STEP 4: Throw your clothes duck and run to the lobby, Security will get you out.

I’m glad that I could help, now you can go enjoy another hit single by: Justin “J.B” Beiber __How to Prevent Being Grounded After A Bad Day At School__

By Brandon

**For example a teacher might call for disruption or for being rude and noisy during class so im going to give you some steps on how to prevent from being grounded at school.**
 * I’m going to give you some solutions on how not to get grounded.**


 * STEP 1: IF THE TEACHERS CALL AND LEAVE A MESSAGE ON YOUR HOUSE PHONE THEN GO IN THEIR ROOM AND DELETE THEIR MESSAGES**


 * STEP 2: IF THE TEACHER CALLS YOUR MOMS CELL PHONE THEN GO HOME AND CLEAN UP THE HOUSE AND HELP YOUR MOM COOK DINNER**


 * STEP 3: IF YOU’RE MOM SAYS WHATS UP THEN SAY IM JUST HELPING YOU OUT**


 * STEP 4:IF YOU’RE MOM FINDS OUT ANY WAY POSSIBLE THAT YOU GOT IN TROUBLE THEN YOU SHOULD FOLLOW STEP FIVE**


 * STEP 5:** ** RUN FOR IT…… **

** How to Survive a Dog Attack **
 * By: Natalie **

Don’t you just hate it when there is a dog that is trying to attack you? Don’t you just hate it when you have to hurt the dog? Well you don’t have to do that anymore. I have been that situation before it was scary but I got some ideas that scared the dog away here are some ways and steps that could help you when you are in a dog attack: Things that you’ll need: - a small branch - distraction - toy - dog - string Step 1: Try to distract the dog with the toy. Step 2: Take the small branch quickly and tie the dog bone on to the small branch. Step 3: After you are done tying the bone onto the small branch then show the bone to the dog. Step 4: Then when the dog is distracted from the bone, throw the bone as far as you can then when the dog runs and gets the bone. Step 5: Then RUN AWAY! This how you can survive a dog attack when you //are// in a dog attack. Here’s one tip for anyone that does not want to be in a dog attack is don’t MESS with a DOG!

How to Survive Having Your Friends Mad at YouBy: Maggie (I’m a pro at this, since it happens a lot.)

You’re at home watching TV and your phone goes off. It’s a text message from a friend. They ask you in huge letters why you told somebody to write things down about the gossip about you. They say you lie too much and start all the drama. You know they talk about you. When your friend brings you up at lunch, you can’t take it anymore. You lash out screaming about how she is the worst. They all hear it, and talk about you more as soon as you leave the room. They are all really mad. You:


 * Step 1: ** Figure out why they are mad. Maybe you can see it from their point of view.


 * Step 2: ** Try talking to them, or apologizing if it’s your fault. If it’s not, just give them the silent treatment and wait for an apology.


 * Step 3: ** If by four days you’re still in an argument (or if you can’t take it anymore) talk to a teacher or guidance counselor. And tell them what happened, but that you don’t want to talk to them and don’t want to be their friend. (If you don’t tell him that too)


 * Step 4: ** Forget about them. If they want to be your friend, you can, but you should think about making other friends because real friends wouldn’t all go against you. (Unless they beg for your forgiveness, which they usually do.)

**__ How to Survive a Bad Grade on a Test __**

By: Megan Yang Don’t you just hate it when you get a bad grade on a test and you’re afraid how your parents will react when they find out? Well, there is no need to fear! Help is here!!!!! For I have some ways to get your parents not mad. I will tell you step-by-step what you’re suppose to do. Here are some ways:


 * Bad News, Good News
 * Distraction
 * Surprise Event
 * Cooking
 * Dedicated Song

Now, these are a lot of choices to choose from. So I would choose the dedicated song, because if it was me who had a bad grade on a test that’s what I would choose. Now, just follow these simple steps to survive a bad grade on a test by dedicating a song to your parents/guardians. (By the way, if this doesn’t work, DO NOT SUE US. THIS WAS YOU’RE CHOICE TO LISTEN/READ ME)


 * __ Dedicated Song: __**


 * Step 1: ** Get out a piece of paper and pencil.


 * Step 2: ** Think of a melody. It could be made up or a melody from a different song.


 * Step 3: ** Now, think of some words that would sound good in the melody. But remember, it’s a song dedicated to your parent/guardian so make it appropriate for them. (Example: do you know what’s worse than a bad grade on a test? There are many varieties than I could list…)


 * Step 4: ** When you’re done writing your song, practice it many times. Just in case you want to make adjustments.

If you don’t want to take all the time writing a song, you can just look one up if there are any.
 * Step 5: ** If you think you’re done adjusting and fixing the song and you’re ready to sing it to your parents, then go for it!

And if you’d rather tell you’re parents that you almost failed or did fail a test, GOOD LUCK!!!!!

How to survive a bad haircut By: Kristin Don’t you hate it when you get a bad haircut and you don’t know what to do with your hair? Well, I have some suggestion for you.

Tip 1: First thing you always, always want to remember is to condition your hair everyday. You condition your hair when you’re in the shower after you have used your shampoo. If you don’t have one you can just buy one at a local store or at a hair salon. When you’re done taking a shower you shouldn’t brush your hair because when your hair is wet it’s at its weakest.

Tip 2: After you’re done taking a shower you shouldn’t brush your hair. You should let your air dry then brush your hair.

Tip 3: You should put fun accessories in your hair such as clips, headbands, and feather-extensions. If you have bangs you should try sweeping your bangs to the side and holding them with bobby-pins.

Tip 4: Try not to use straighteners, curling irons, or crimpers because your hair will grow slower.

How to survive the 7th grade

By Justin

How to survive the 7th grade. These are things that you should do.

You should always be respectful of your classmates, teachers and others. You should

Try to do extra credit if you are failing or if you feel you need to. You should always

Aim for 3.0 or higher. Always be organized with your classes and have all of your materials such as: 2 pencils, notebooks according to what class you’re going to and folders.

You should always do stuff that you thought you couldn’t do.

You should try to get involved in activities such as PBIS, basketball, football,

Forensics and others. Encourage yourself to get better in school. You should try to set a goal for yourself at the beginning of the year and if you met your goal show all teachers that you met.

Now here are some steps that you should follow: ü Be prepared for class

Pencils, notebooks and folders

ü Try to get involved in activities

Sports, PBIS, Forensics

ü Extra credit

Ask your teachers for extra work so you can improve in your grades ü Goal setting

Set a goal at the beginning of the year and at the end if you met you should show the principal, all your teachers and parents. ü Average

Try to average a 3.0 or higher ü Encourage

Try to encourage yourself and friends to be good in school ü Parents

You should ask a teacher in a class that you’re doing really well

in to call your parents and give them a good report! ü Try to stay out of trouble

Try to stay out of trouble with the principal and teachers!

** How to Survive Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **

** by Jasmine ** ** ( WARNING : Most of this stuff you will not like) **
 * If you stay with me for a day, you MUST listen to me at all costs. If you don’t, you will regret it. **
 * 1) ** Before you walk into my house, you MUST have a present. No ifs, ands, or buts. I take stuffed animals, chocolate, any kind of candy, and most of all CASH. **
 * 2) ** Go unpack and don’t expect me to help. **
 * 3) ** Then come down to eat. You got hands, so you can make your own plate. **
 * 4) ** After dinner we go upstairs and always play what I want. **
 * 5) ** If I start getting bored you and I go watch Bad Girls Club and Jersey Shore. **
 * 6) ** If I start feeling a little selfish we take 30 minutes out the day to do what ever you want. (It better not be boring). **
 * 7) ** My mom brings cookies and ice cream for dessert. **
 * 8) ** We go to my room and dance to music on my iPod. (If you don’t like the music you can leave my room and go to the basement by yourself where you would sit on the couch) **
 * 9) ** That leads us to exhaustion. We can go watch a scary movie. **
 * 10) ** In the middle of the night I prank you. So I pour whip cream on you and tickle you. **
 * 11) ** In the morning you make breakfast while I watch T.V. **
 * 12) ** We get dressed and go outside. I get the bike and you get the ripstick. **
 * 13) ** We go to the gas station to get honey buns. **
 * 14) ** When we get home your parents are there and you go get your stuff and get out my house. **
 * 15) ** Most importantly, don’t come back!!!!!! **

These are steps to survive a dog attack. by Jordan R. 1. First, always have a treat on you. 2. Make sure you’re faster than the dog. 3. Find a good hiding place. 4. Always have a phone. The animal can be the nicest dog in the world, but some can be mean. One reason is because of the dog’s owner. 5. Make sure you have a beware of dog sign. That is five ways to survive a dog attack.